13.12.2006, 3:00 am
I am in a little mini crisis right now. Maybe it's more than mini. Ok, it is a crisis of reasonable size. It's not a regular candy bar, but it's not a bite sized candy bar either.
I need a 3.0 to be in my BA/MT program. I will not be allowed to continue taking graduate education courses during undergrad if my College major goes below 3.0. I have through this spring to get my GPA straight. That's fine and all, if I didn't just get a C+ in a 4 credit course. And, of course, if the only two psych courses I am taking next semester weren't neurobiology in psych and the dreaded PSYC 305-306 series. Why is it dreaded? Don't know. I do know that people much smarter than myself and much better at math have struggled in the sequence.
Basically I'd have to get an A in everything to pull a 3.0. So I freaked out, like omggggggg my life is over. My college career is ruined. Then, when I was suddenly faced with the prospect of being unable to remain in Curry's BA/MT program-- I felt free. I felt liberated. I felt like I was off the track I'd set myself on 2.5 years ago. I didn't have to teach, I didn't have to stay in Curry, I didn't have to do graduate work. I could do whatever I wanted.
092830 phone calls and many tears later the joy became panic and I was highly depressed. I gorged myself on a box of Ho-Hos. I wrapped myself in my blanket and swore to commit suicide in the immediate future. I was REALLY going to do it. Really!
After much contemplation I realized that the things I love most about teaching and education are the one-on-one interactions with students. I love developing relationships on a personal level, I love being able to focus on small numbers of students at a time, and really I prefer to focus on their personal problems. I would much rather sit for an hour and talk with a second grader about her father who's never around, and how that makes her feel, than teach that same second grader how to do double-digit addition. When I work with children on an academic level I always feel distracted by the stories that are constantly playing out in their minds about the lunch room, the school bus, the playground, the after-school program, the dinner table. I would rather spend time with a student who is at-risk and troubled than a student who is fortunate and generally satisfied.
I decided to pursue educational counseling or psychology instead of teaching. Yes, a somewhat bizarre career change. I would have to spend twice the time and money in grad school, and I won't be guaranteed a spot like I am in the BA/MT. However, I feel different now. I feel better. Do I know this is where I will end up? Certainly not. But I feel more in control of my future.
I emailed the program coordinator and received a very encouraging response:
Hi Colleen,
I am excited. I feel refreshed and invigorated. If I chose to do this I could go to William & Mary, I could go to UR, I could stay at UVA...or I could even go to Tech. (lol)
I am excited and pleased by your interest in our program. You will definitely not be alone if you apply. We have many applicants and students who finish their BS or BA degree and come right into our program. Your background in teaching and your experience in the schools and volunteering with children will be EXCELLENT credentials for your "match" to our program goals. I would encourage you to shadow Virginia public school counselors for a half or full-day (at all three levels of elementary, middle and high) to get more of a sense of whether or not this potential career matches your expectations. It will also give you a clearer picture of the level at which you might want to do your internship, if you are accepted into a school counseling program.
We will be having an Open House next fall for prospective applicants, and I will be sure and put your name and email address on the list.
Please feel free to email with any further questions.
Of COURSE...the C+ still sucks.
