31.01.2007, 12:05 am
Today I had a good experience. Psychbio is one of the courses I was dreading most. Actually, I think, it was my most dreaded. A combination of equations, neurobiology and neurochemistry. And this ain't no VCCS course, either.
However, today before class I did the assigned reading. What an idea! Then not only did I understand everything the professor went over, but I knew what he was going to say before he said it. The professor took a few polls such as "in X situation do you think X would cause Y to Z?" Less than 10 people out of 350 even replied, and I was one of them! And I was always correct! I felt awesome. Of course I may still fail the course, but it was a good experience.
Not only do VCCS students basically now have a free ticket to UVA through the transfer agreements, they're soon going to get a ticket that is almost literallyfree. Legislation is being passed that gives VCCS transfer students the ability to continue paying their VCCS tuition at four-year colleges. Ummm what? That's a horrible idea. First of all, why guaranteed admission? If admissions wants to give them special considerations due to some sort of weird relationship and favor to the taxpayers, okay... Why guarantee it? Essays aren't even taken into consideration. Your SAT scores aren't either, I don't think. So you can get an A/B GPA at a community college with a crappy SAT score, and write your essay like a second grader and they can't really reject you. On top of the undue privilege to be there you get to go for EVEN CHEAPER than everyone else??? And you know who pays the difference in tuition? Yep, the taxpayers of Virginia.
My reaction to this is mixed. Certainly as a UVA student I take issue with it. The whole reason I wanted to come here is because it truly is an elite university. It's no Yale, Princeton, Harvard, Stanford, but anyone who knows higher education knows UVA. I was honored to be here. I am still truly, truly honored. Sometimes I still get teary-eyed. The idea that VCCS students can do even less than -I- did as a high school dropout with blah SATs and decent essays...and be guaranteed admission?? Oh God it makes me nauseous. And they're being given the incentive of cheap tuition?? WHY???????? The school is overly full as it is. Kids in lecture halls have to sit on the fucking floor. YOU DON'T NEED TO RECRUIT THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL.
At the same time my reaction is defensive. I'm not an idiot. I know what people think of me being here. I'm proud of what I've accomplished but I know that I can't compare to them. I feel inadequate in some ways. People say shit around me, and obviously they don't know where I came from. Now whenever I say I came from a community college they automatically assume I got in here with guaranteed admission. I didn't. I certainly didn't have to work as hard as they did, but I worked as hard as someone outside of high school possibly could to prove myself. No one made me any promises or offered me any deals. Everything I did was a chance and a risk.
I feel like a traitor to a little college that provided me with a huge opportunity. At the same time, I feel like UVA betrayed me. What the fuck is this shit?
I also thought that I was pretty withdrawn from my peers. I have some friends, sure, but I thought my "friends" in my classes were just meaningless acquaintances. Now when I think of changing my program it saddens me knowing I'll leave them behind. There are a couple cunty bitches in the bunch, but most of them don't care about any of that shit. I saw a friend I'd been with since 288 in my psychobio class today. She said, "I'm with Chrissy, she's here too. Come sit with us!" I started telling her this was my last semester in the program, but I couldn't...
Maybe I never will.
