22.02.2007, 9:48 am
This morning was pretty rough. I went to my internship at a local elementary school to work with my student. I met him two weeks ago for the first time and I was instantly impressed. He's intelligent, very sweet, and follows directions very well. A second grader reading at at least a third grade level. Why I am tutoring a child reading above grade level...I do not know. I just am.
I knew that the frustration and boredom would eventually get to him. I just didn't realize it would hit him so fast, and only him. This morning we barely got through a quick read before his voice dropped so low I could hardly hear him, and put his head down against his arm. So of course I have to be the authority figure and tell him to sit up and speak with a clear voice, and he only proceeds to shut down further. We did a few groups of Fry's and he seemed like he was barely hanging on. Finally, I asked him if he wanted to read a third grade book. He was unimpressed.
Halfway through the book I could tell he was done. I put my hand to his back and told him that he was the only student reading at a third grade level and he should be proud. He should read loudly enough so everyone can hear and know how smart he is. I asked him to communicate to me if he wanted to stop the book, or read another one, or do word study. He was just done.
I know all about how children manipulate, and how they need discipline and routine and thrive on the assistance of authority figures. I know you're supposed to push them through their work and take no argument. I know being tired, or hungry, or even sick are not supposed to be excuses. I know all of that, but his little eyes looked like they were welling up with tears and I so sympathized with his defeat. I felt like shit. I refused to push him further. I told him we could take a break in reading and work on writing. I thought that would wake him up a bit. I asked him to think of any word in the world. It could be something he does, or likes, or even someone he knows. He thought of nothing. I said, "I know you like basketball, what else do you like?" "Football." he said. "Okay, why don't you write me a sentence about the last time you played football?" Of course a seven year old has never really PLAYED football, but to a seven year old holding a football counts as "playing." "I've never played." Okay... "Well, write me a sentence about the last time you SAW football." "I've never seen it."
Okay at that point you know the kid is lying, but what can you do? The harder you push the more they resist, and if you ease up on them you're reinforcing their defeatest behavior. I asked him again, "Why don't you write about your sister's birthday party?" He sat there for a few minutes, I said "Come on, write a sentence for me." He stared with little empty, brown eyes and said, "I don't want to write about my sister." Don't ask me how 10 minutes ago he wanted to talk about his sister, and her fun birthday party, and now suddenly the thought of it makes him sick to his stomach.
So FINALLY I asked him to cut out his word sort. I took the opportunity to talk to him while he worked. I said, "I really enjoy working with you and I'm proud of you. If there's something you don't like doing, or you want to work on something else, you have to tell me. I want you to tell me. I'm here to help you, but I can't help unless you talk to me. It does neither of us any good for you to sit there with a sourpuss face on for an hour."
As he glued the words down I told him, "You're too smart to refuse to do anything but cut out words you already know. I went soft on you today, but your mom didn't send you to school to learn how to cut with scissors and glue. When you become president one day I want to be able to say, 'I taught that man how to read,' I don't want to say that I tried to teach him how to read, but he chose instead to cut and glue."
I continued to tell him I was proud of him and I enjoyed working with him, and that he did a good job. Even with his screwing around with the word sort he still went further than most of the other students, but that just shows how much further he could've gone. I had no idea if my words to him were even having an effect. Right as the hour was almost over I told him we would do his quick read again. I hoped he would come alive and try a bit harder. He read it faster and louder than before. I gave him a piece of paper and told him he could spend the rest of the time drawing about whatever he wanted. He had previously refused to even think of a single WORD to draw a picture about so I felt this was an improvement. What did he draw?... McNabb with eagles on his jersey. Never seen football before, huh?
He became a little more talkative in the last 10 minutes. I said, "If I come back next week will you read through a whole book for me, and try to leave the sourpuss face at home?" He nodded. He seemed in a better mood. Then again, with seven year olds their moods can switch off as randomly as they switch on. Did my gamble in spending some time connecting with him, as opposed to pushing him, have a positive effect? Did I just waste his time and mine? Will I go back next week to another bored, frustrated child? WE WILL SEE.
Now I have a paper to write that is due tomorrow! Yay!
