09.05.2007, 1:16 am
I interviewed for the position at the school for children with autism. All I can say is...wow. Anyone who claims that it isn't a disability is a fucking piece of shit and I hope they die.
I received the standard warning about aggressive behaviors, such as how I would have to wear a special jean jacket to protect from bites and scratches, and that some children may have to be restrained at times to prevent them from hurting themselves or others. I was told I'd be punched and slapped and advised to wear my hair in a tight bun so that it cannot be pulled. Then I was given a tour of the facility and saw one of the scariest things I'd ever seen.
The building is an old hospital, so each of the classrooms are the size of hospital rooms...since...that's what they once were. When we got to the top floor I looked down the first long hallway and saw a TA sitting on the floor outside one of the rooms. She was wearing full body armor with metal armor over her arms, and in front of her between her body and the door of the classroom was a shield like those used by S.W.A.T. She was scribbling in her notebook, and said "______ I like how you're staying in the classroom." I walked by and saw that the room was completely destroyed and could barely see the child behind an overturned table in the corner. "________ I like how you're leaving the door open."
This TA is actually afraid for her physical safety and yet so calm and collected. Just scribbling in the notebook, recording data for her charts, and covered with body armor. So strange. So scary.
The doorway to another room was surrounded by crap that usually fills the classroom. The program coordinator informed me that this student does not want the items in the room with him. When he needs or desires an item it must be brought in separately and then removed when it's no longer needed or desired. As we walked past all I could hear was him screaming and screaming and the TA trying to speak over him without yelling and possibly alarming him.
Another room was completely silent and I was told that it was filled with nonverbal children who can only use ASL. None of the TAs know the language yet, as they struggle to learn, but in the meantime the children are incredibly frustrated.
Notes on the wall for children who are 4, 13, 22 who have to have their diapers changed. Staff members wearing protective mitts and gloves. Complete silence and then screaming. Seeing children try and learn to smile, or make eye contact, or say "hello".
There were strange sights everywhere. Some scary, some funny, some pleasant. It was really like every movie you've ever seen set in a psychiatric hospital with quirky characters and dark undertones. I don't know if I got the job, but...it was incredibly sad. And scary. I've studied autism. I thought I knew autism. I didn't know autism at all.
And in response to someone mentioning Temple Grandin and her defense of autism:
I do know of Temple Grandin. The problem is that I really don't see that the benefits to someone like her warrant the incredible suffering that thousands of other children experience. I can't see a child punching herself in the face over and over and over and over again and be swayed by the arguments of individuals like Grandin who claim that "seeing in pictures" is just the best thing in the world. If I had to give up every autistic savant in the world or HFA to save one LFA I would do it in a second. HFAs claim they're living great lives, or at least satisfying ones, and thus there is nothing to cure. Tell that to the children who have no idea what it means to love someone, and don't know how to laugh or smile, and lash out at themselves and their families physically and can't communicate except by screaming at the tops of their lungs.
I just don't buy it. Grandin's work for the benefit of animals doesn't override the suffering that autism causes in human LFAs. I see the beauty in the abilities of some HFAs and individuals with Aspergers, but I don't see how it can be preserved without harming LFAs. How can you cure autism but only at one end of the spectrum?
