05.06.2007, 12:11 am
I am a comet that is going absolutely fucking nowhere. I just continue to orbit the Earth and watch from above as everyone below me manages to get somewhere. Somewhere good, somewhere bad, but somewhere. Because I am orbiting the Earth I don't have to do shit, I just maintain my mass and therefore continue my rotation. That's what I do. I orbit.
Someone told me today that I am useless, and they weren't trying to be funny. I am used to people saying harsh shit to me, and laughing it off, (because it's much easier than flipping out) but this time it really hurt. I don't truly believe I'm useless because I am doing something with my life. Admittedly, I don't believe this something is really taking me anywhere, but no one else could possibly know that. No one else could possibly realize that the direction I'm in is just leading me in circles because no one bothers to ask.
Most of my friends are doing things like cruises, backpack excursions, vacations with family, and other kinds of stereotypical college fun. Instead of that shit I'm sleeping in and playing video games. I don't like backpacking, or camping, or swimming in the ocean, or sight-seeing. I like staying at home, by myself or with one or two others, and just hanging out. That's what I do; I'm a hanger.
To some people, apparently, that's being useless. As if my friend who's lying on a beach in Mexico right now is really doing something productive.
I should just start punching people directly in the face when they say something I dislike, because that's what it feels like to me. It feels like they're punching me in the face. A broken nose would probably heal more quickly than it takes me to recover from words like this.
I don't know if I'm good at anything, but if I were good at anything goddamnit I wish it were punching people in the face.
