20.06.2007, 2:46 am
I have said before, many times, that I would rather be a flaming fuckup than a chilled success. I've said I'd rather go all out trying to make something happen, and put everything I have into it, even if it means crashing and fucking dying of infection from first degree burns. I've said that I would prefer to be a candle burning brightly, but burning out, than a candle never lit but intact forever. I have definitely said that over, and over, and over again for years now. On a few occasions I have tried to do just that, and on all occasions I definitely got singed as a motherfucker. I said I'd prefer to get burned then feel nothing at all, and I most certainly did. Somehow, however, I managed to survive without fucking dying. I assumed that I'd learned some lesson in that and would remember not to place both hands firmly down on the hot burner. Duh, I'm a dumbass!
My life is so fucking hectic and unbelievably full of emptiness on top of that. It's amazing. I just don't know how much longer I can sustain this, especially in addition to an extra layer of some thick hydrocarbon just waiting to ignite in flames.
